thatonepleb:

Me trying to finish something important on time:

image

(Source: )

willgrahamcrackercrumbs:

reasons you should date me:

  • i bake things and they taste good usually
  • i will cuddle you always
  • you can chill w/me for hours and just read or watch movies and not  talk
  • i could’ve murdered like 17 people by now but i haven’t

(Source: hughdancyvevo)

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

cinemamoviesandmagic:

Beetlejuice (1988) Dir. Tim Burton

Our Leader The Mockingjay - Mockingjay part 1 teaser trailer

(Source: mockingjaysource)

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."